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Re-UNION Is:
David Foreman - keyboards, vocals, sequencing
Kathy foreman - keyboards, vocals
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In 1998, just before their 19th wedding anniversary, the marriage of David and Kathy came to a bitter end: separation, and finally, divorce. There was absolutely no hope of reconciliation. David walked away from the marriage, and had no intentions of returning. God, and David's wife, had other plans. Two and a half years later, the Lord miraculously brought them back together, and restored the union that he initiated.
Now David and Kathy are "Re-UNION." They are also involved in a variety of other ministries. In addition, they are members of the American Association of Christian Counselors, and World Christianship Ministries.
Re-Union is available for booking. Their singing and speaking engagements are done on a donantion basis. No venue is too large or small. Don't let a small budget keep you from letting them share with your gathering.
CONTACT Re-UNION:
For bookings, sending donations,
or any other reason?
E-Mail:
reunion@reunionsingers.com
Phone: (260) 445-7531
Also check Dave's Info Page
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Here's the article that the Journal Gazette did on Re-Union.
Posted on Sat, Jun. 11, 2005
Couples
2 anniversaries mark couple’s enduring love
By Nancy Vendrely
The Journal Gazette
Dave and Kathy Foreman celebrate two marriage dates. Their first was May 5, 1979. Their second was Oct. 1, 2000. They call that their re-union day, and they call the music ministry that grew out of it Re-Union Ministries.
The story that connects the two – both the dates and the couple – is one of faith and hopelessness, love and despair, anguish and contentment - a virtual spectrum of human emotions and circumstances.
Most couples wouldn’t want to publicly share such personal information, and Kathy was reluctant to do so, but Dave convinced her that what they went through can help others, and for the past two years they have shared their story and their music in concert a half-dozen times.
“He convinced me that we had not gone through what we went through just for our own benefit, that we had been put in a place and had these experiences to let us help other people, so I’ve come around to his way of thinking,” Kathy says.
A woman of few, but well-chosen, words, Kathy is the calm center of this relationship.
Dave is super-charged, loquacious and full of enthusiasm.
When they first met in Bluffton, they were considered “Jesus freaks,” Dave says.
“That’s the term people used. It was the ’70s, and it was in the early days of contemporary Christian music. What you hear now on WBCL, many traditional Christian churches then thought was heresy,” Dave says. “It was considered demon rock music.”
Dave had long hair and worked at a Christian coffee shop/book store called The Fishnet, where “we were trying to reach the street kids – people who lived the way some of us used to live.”
The shop was owned by the Christian Center of Markle, a church that Dave and Kathy and their friends were all a part of.
Kathy Reiff had grown up in Bluffton, an only, adopted child. She studied piano from age 5 to 14, sang in school and church choirs and was a vocalist for a top-40 cover band for a few years after high school. When she and Dave were introduced by a mutual friend, she had a young son from a previous marriage.
Dave says he was a reluctant and miscast farm boy. At age 5, he was adopted by his stepgrandparents who moved him from Michigan to their farm near Poneto.
“I never knew my birth father, and when my mother and my stepfather divorced, his parents adopted me. … I grew up with hay fever, so farm life was miserable for me. … I was a scrawny little kid who was supposed to be a farm boy, and I got beat up and picked on a lot.”
Dave says he was one of “the trouble-making kids” in high school. “I was a very confused youth. I don’t know whether I corrupted my friends or they corrupted me,” he says. However it happened, Dave ended up at Indiana Youth Center, the state correctional facility, at age 16. He finished high school there.
When he was released, Dave went back to his old crowd and his old habits until one night when he was hitchhiking home.
“Some Christian kids picked me up in their van to give me a ride, and they started witnessing to me. I moved in with them and their family in Bluffton shortly after that.”
That association led him to the Christian Center in Markle and a changed life.
Dave and Kathy were part of a group of young people who did everything together but were not dating. Some were employed; some were not. They had three working cars among them.
“The way we really got together was that one night we had all decided to go to the movies, and then, one by one, for one reason or another, everybody dropped out except the two of us,” Kathy says. “So we ended up going on our own.”
“That was our first date, and I didn’t even know it was a date until it was over with,” Dave says.
Well, maybe a little before that – he asked to hold her hand on the way home.
Less than a year later, they were married in the park in Markle. They settled into family life with Kathy’s son, and when the Christian Center folded, began attending Christian Praise and Fellowship Church in Fort Wayne. They moved to their tidy bungalow on Fort Wayne’s near south side in 1992.
Five years later, they separated.
“I had begun to be unfaithful to my wife,” Dave says. “ … If I’m not going to be faithful, I might as well leave the relationship."
“...I started getting back into drugs like I had been in my youth.”
Kathy was blindsided – angry and devastated.
After about two months, they got back together, but, Kathy says, “We didn’t deal with any of the issues.”
“We just got back together and hoped it would work out, which was a big mistake,” Dave says.
“I didn’t want to talk about it; I just wanted to put it behind us and go on,” Kathy says.
They stayed together, uneasily, for a year.
“I was looking for an escape hatch, and she was thinking this is as good as it gets, but at least we’re going to keep what we’ve got, and I won’t lose that.
“We both knew it wasn’t working, but we were taking two different approaches to it. Mine was escape,” Dave says, “and hers was denial.”
Dave gave up the struggle. He said, “I’m through with my marriage, I’m through with church, I’m through with God, my family, my friends. I’m going to go start a whole new life as somebody else.”
He moved out right before their 19th wedding anniversary in 1998, but they weren’t divorced until June 2000.
“I had what I wanted so I was in no hurry to go through the legalities,” Dave says. “I really only cared about what I wanted and what I was doing. The ultimate selfishness.”
Meanwhile, Kathy struggled with explaining to others.
“It was very difficult because I’m a very private person. I had to be upfront and say this is what happened. … I didn’t want people’s sympathy, but you do have to tell people something. ‘Where’s Dave?’ ‘Well, Dave moved out.’ ”
Still, she kept hoping for reconciliation. She had been praying throughout the bitter times, at first for reconciliation and then, as the separation went on, she says, “I just began to pray that God would work in David’s mind and heart, whatever needed to be accomplished.”
After the divorce was final, Kathy says she finally decided, “OK, this isn’t going to happen; I’m going to move on.” And then Dave started to phone her, and for the first time, they began to talk about all the issues and feelings they had pushed below the surface of their relationship.
Dave says the phone calls started when he reached a point of hopelessness. “I was partying all the time, into the drug thing and it just kept spiraling downhill until I was at the point of hating myself.
“It was through one of those hopeless nights that God spoke to me and gave me hope. I didn’t know what that meant or where it would go from there, but it was basically him doing what Kathy did, letting me know that I was still loved.
“This woman was praying the whole time. All I can say is that the prayers of this woman and the intervention of God made it happen because I was never looking to reconcile. … I was finished with it. But the steadfast prayers of this godly woman and God’s intervening on my heart,” made it happen.
“She just kept loving me, which is unthinkable. To be hurt that way and treated that way and to still have that steadfast love.”
They talked throughout the summer and early fall, and by the time they remarried on Oct. 1, 2000, Kathy says they had either resolved or figured out how to address all the issues they had been harboring. Dave says they were “brutally honest with each other.”
Communication, forgiveness and commitment are key. It’s still not easy, but it’s vital. They don’t want to repeat past mistakes.
“Both of us hate conflict and complications, so we never talked about anything when it happened. I would hold onto everything until I blew up at some point, and then he would run away,” Kathy says. “We never learned how to argue, so we had a lot of communication issues.”
They went through counseling and Dave says he firmly believes that “God re-established the union he created.”
“Because I do believe with all my heart, as does she, that God put us together to begin with. We still count our first marriage as our anniversary.”
Since their remarriage, they have had training through the American Association of Christian Counselors and do couples counseling.
“We are not licensed counselors,” Dave says. “If we feel we’re out of our league, we send them to someone who is. … Even among Christians, more than half divorce. We’re trying to show there is hope.”
Dave and Kathy recently released a CD, “Inside Out,” which contains many original songs by Dave. Both play keyboards and sing on the album. It is available at Anchor Room Book Store and at their Web site, www.reunionsingers .com.
Dave works at General Motors and Kathy works at Shilling Sales. Although they devote a lot of time to Re-Union Ministries, they try to work in some fun times, too. Both enjoy the theater, eating out or just walking in the park.
“I feel we kept the good and the fun and then went deeper and became a closer couple,” Dave says. “I hate doing anything without her now. … I think we’re both content.”
“We joke about being in a rut, but we like our rut,” Kathy says.
“I hate what we had to go through, but I wouldn’t trade where we are now,” he says, and Kathy nods in agreement.
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He says/She says
Pluses
Dave: “Her unwavering steadfastness is a blessing. Her faith and how she persevered through all that (separation and divorce) – that’s one of the major things I admire.”
Kathy: “His care and support. He’s always looking out for me and encouraging me in whatever I do. (He’s) my cheerleader.”
Peeves:
Kathy: “I’ve got it narrowed down to about 20. (Laughter ensues.) Most of his traits I find endearing, but he loses things. He’s always looking for something – his wallet, his glasses. It’s a mystery.”
Dave: “I don’t multitask but my mind is in 10 places at once.” (He once reached for his wallet in his back pocket and pulled out their portable phone. And, the missing remote control? In the freezer.)
As for Dave’s pet peeve about Kathy: “Her procrastination. I’m a planner. I have to know what I’m doing a month from now. She puts things off to the last minute. Say we have a program to prepare for. The night before, it’s ‘I don’t know this song.’ ”
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WE BELIEVE
There used to be a whole bunch of beliefs listed here.
Then I realized, in the words of Rob Bell,
"Doctrine is a great servant, but a terrible master."
So, I'll just say we're non-religious Jesus lovers, and leave it at that.
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